Rebirth
by IMPeak123
Summary: I've decided to continue this, still focusing one chapter at a time on each of the character's perspectives. I'll be working on 2 new chapters during the hiatus, hoping it will make the time pass quickly. Still believing that Callie and Arizona are MFEO and they will be re-born.
1. Chapter 1

_Rebirth: Part I_

Callie left the room as quickly as her weak legs could carry her, never once turning back to look Arizona in the eyes. She couldn't. She could never look into the pale, sparkling blue eyes that stole her heart all those years ago. The eyes that lit up with joy whenever Sofia laughed…the eyes that turned dark with desire, glowing almost sapphire in the dim light of their bedroom…the eyes that could, without any words, make Callie feel like the most adored person on the planet. If she had looked at Arizona again, even for a second, she would not have had the courage to do what both of them so desperately needed her to.

Callie had made a harsh decision for them all, but it was one that she truly believed was necessary. She and Arizona had been riding a terribly fast, wickedly nauseating carousel- one that promised never to cease spinning if one of them didn't push the power switch. Perhaps they could ride together again someday…something new, like the ferris wheel, that would take them high above the ground and make them feel like they were on top of the world.

Right now, the world as they knew it, had just about swallowed them up. Callie had felt herself venturing on a downward spiral for quite some time now, but always chose to blame the circumstances of their lives for her despair. The things she and Arizona had gone through definitely played their part in the destruction of their marriage, but it was the two of them who were ultimately responsible for destroying each other. Neither one of them had been happy in their own skin, which made it impossible to really give themselves to one another the way they had all those years ago.

Could they ever get back to that place? Callie wasn't sure. But she knew the answer would be _no_ if they stayed together now. If they continued to ride the carousel of desperation, and hurt, and fear, they would never be able to get off. And they would shatter not only their own hopes and dreams, but one another's souls. She loved Arizona way too much to let that happen. And for the first time in a very long time, she loved herself too.

As a separate individual the past thirty days, Callie realized that she wanted more out of life. She wanted to be a bad-ass Ortho surgeon again. She wanted to let loose…to drink Tequila and eat cheeseburgers with Meredith…to dance in her underwear. She wanted to be herself, instead of trying so hard to be the person Arizona needed her to be.

And she knew that her wife deserved the same thing. Arizona needed to rock her fellowship and live up to her amazing reputation. She needed to laugh at weird jokes with Kepner…to drink wine to enjoy herself instead of to escape…to love life the way she used to. _They both deserved better_.

They could never give the kind of love they were both so worthy of if they didn't do this for themselves. And maybe they would never come back to one another. Maybe they would never fall in love again. But this was surely the only chance they had at a real life-a life of peace and happiness, instead of sorrow and resentment. Callie wanted that for herself…for Arizona…and above all, for Sofia.

A tear streamed down the brunette's face as she thought of her little girl. How was this going to work? How would they explain this to Sofia? Thoughts raced through her mind and she contemplated going back to Joe's, shooting back Tequila until the sun came up, making the pain stop for just a little while. But that wouldn't really help, would it? Being drunk would only make her rethink the awful, yet necessary decision she had made. It would be a matter of a few hours before the alcohol clouded her judgment, fogging up her brain and swelling her heart with the one emotion she was trying to suppress in order to move on. _Love._ Undying love for the woman she had just left.

All at once, a lump formed in Callie's throat. It was going to be so hard to stay away from Arizona. Not to _hug_ her…_kiss_ her…_make love _to her. She thought back to last night- _the last night _with the woman she loved. Callie was standing outside the hospital now, misty rain beginning to dampen her thick, black locks. It was cold. The rain was cold and wet, and she desperately hoped it could make her forget.

"_Calliope…I-I, I need to practice."_

Arizona's skin felt so perfect under her fingertips, their bodies suddenly so in tune.

"_No talking. Rules."_

The memories continued to flood Callie's mind as the rain began to pour down. She closed her eyes tighter, but nothing could stop her from remembering that kiss. The first kiss in thirty days. The kiss that she longed for during their separation. The kiss that would surely fill her dreams every night and cause her heart to ache every day.

She thought of the look in Arizona's eyes- those dark, sapphire eyes filled with desire. It was for only a few seconds that their eyes met, but a lifetime of words passed between brown and blue. _I miss you. I love you. I need you. I want you._

After that, it was lips and tongues and teeth, their mouths desperately trying to reclaim all that was lost in thirty days. The desire was so strong that it overcame them both, jello bellies quickly landing on the kitchen floor as Arizona leaned back to let Callie reclaim her.

"_What if she makes us start over?"_

Arizona's body was under her now, quickened pulses moving in time with their joined forms. Callie could still taste Arizona's flesh on her lips.

"_What if we don't tell her?"_

The next hour was filled with ecstasy, their bodies and souls joined in a very different way. It was familiar and new all at the same time, and for the first time in what felt like forever, they were completely in sync. Arizona's hips rose to meet Callie's…fingers linked together seamlessly…lips danced to the rhythm of their combined figures. _They made love._

Callie felt a pounding deep inside her that she swore was her heart, about to beat out of her chest. Then she saw the flash of lightening behind her lids, followed by another loud clap of thunder. She knew she should get out of the storm, but her body wouldn't move. She was numb and aching all at once. The thought of Arizona inside of her faded like the distant memory it would become, and the pounding that commenced this time was most definitely her heart. The lump in her throat was so big that she couldn't swallow, air being stolen from her lungs. She couldn't _breathe_. She couldn't _move_. _She couldn't live._

_This was it. This was what dying felt like_.

Callie closed her eyes once more, trying to get back to the memory of last night. But she couldn't. It was over. _They _were over. And she was dying.

In that moment, it would have been easy for Callie to run back inside the hospital, track Arizona down, tell her she had made a mistake- that they should stay together, _forever_. But if forever is what she really wanted, which it was, she couldn't do that. She had to stay strong…see the bigger picture…let them die.

For it is only through death that we can ever be reborn. The life Callie and Arizona had started together five years ago was over. Things had happened. Events had caused them both to change. Each of them, in their own right, had been resurrected. They needed time to get to know their new selves…to understand who they had become…to love the life that was before them now. And maybe, if they were really lucky, they would find love again. Maybe, against all odds, they would find it together.

Callie had to give them that chance. Arizona was worth it. _Their love _was worth it.

Lighting struck again, the intense brightness burning the pair of tear-filled chocolate orbs staring up at the sky. It was time. The carousel had come to a complete stop. The ride was over, and a new life was beginning.


	2. Chapter 2

_Rebirth: Part II_

Arizona marched, like the good soldier she was raised to be, out of the therapist's office and toward the daycare. It was her night to pick up Sofia. She took a deep breath, wiped the tears from under her eyes, and just walked. She was good at stuffing all of her emotions down into her chest and burying them. She could deal with it later. She was fine. _This was not going to break her_.

A few hours later, Arizona had her little princess all tucked in for the night. Sofia had a full belly, a bath, seven bedtime stories, and maybe a few too many tickles. Arizona loved the way her miniature Calliope laughed, the most beautiful and innocent sound pouring from her sweet lips. She loved Sofia's rich, chocolate eyes. They were just like Callie's. They were big and round…warm and loving…_brilliant_. Both pairs had the ability to shine right into the blonde's soul. It was the most amazing feeling, one that Arizona never expected to know in her lifetime.

Arizona Robbins grew up tough. Getting dealt a military family and a name like Arizona was surely a winning combination. She got teased a lot, spending a large majority of her adolescence warding off bullies and just taking it in stride. She had to be strong. She had to be a soldier. Her father would accept no less.

Then she realized she liked girls. Or rather, that she didn't like boys. How would he ever accept her? _He wouldn't_. So she kept it a secret, confiding only in Timothy. Her brother knew everything…kept all of her secrets…took care of her. And then- _he_ _died_, fighting the good fight, like all Robbins men.

From that day on, Arizona swore she would never love that deeply again. Losing Timothy was too hard. Her world was shattered. She reluctantly came out to her parents, moved away for medical school, and never looked back. _Time to change the game_. No more hiding. No more hurting. It was time for her to fly.

And she soared. She became a brilliant surgeon, explored her sexuality, and just got to be _herself. _She no longer recognized the scared, scrappy little girl she once was. Arizona Robbins was a beautiful, intelligent, genuinely happy person who spent her days saving tiny humans. Her nights were filled with a glass of expensive wine and an occasional tryst with some girl she met at the bar. She never let things get too serious though. _No, those walls weren't coming down_.

At least until she met Calliope. Everything changed then. Her whole world began spinning and she couldn't stop it. She jumped on the carousel full force and hung on for the ride. Every promise she ever made herself to keep her emotions inside- to keep people _out_, went right out the window when those brown eyes first looked into her soul. She would do anything for Callie. She would love her, and protect her, and be her good man in the storm.

That's how it was supposed to be. Arizona was supposed to take care of Callie. She tried. She tried _so hard _to be the rock…the shoulder to cry on…the healer of all the injustices in their world. And she was, for a while. But then life grabbed their sweet, happy little merry-go-round and spun it with a force that was determined to throw them both off the ride. _Shooting_. _Africa_. _Baby. Car accident. Plane Crash. Leg. Infidelity_. They had held on for so long. They loved each other that much. But each of them needed what the other just couldn't give anymore.

Arizona knew her wife had made the right decision for them all. But it still hurt like hell. She was devastated. She cursed herself for suggesting the separation, even though she, too, believe it to be necessary. The past thirty days were hard, not only because she was away from Callie, but because she knew the separation would come to an end they would eventually fall right back into the same pattern. _Disagreement. Anger. Passion. Sex. Love. Resentment. Imprisonment. _The carousel would continue moving at warped speed while they kept trying…and trying_…_and trying _again _to fix it. Each time they thought they could slow it down for a while- just enjoy the ride together, a new problem would arise. It wasn't supposed to be this hard. And Arizona knew that deep down. She knew the ride wasn't fun anymore.

Every word her Calliope spoke at their last therapy session was true. They were both stuck, unable to bring the carousel to a stop. _Because it was hard_. Because they had a child. Because they so desperately wanted it to work. Because, despite it all, they loved one another fiercely.

Arizona probably would never have been able to do it- to stop them from going round and round in circles. The roles were reversed a long time ago, and she was dependent on Callie for everything. She knew that. Callie knew it too. So _she_ made the ride stop. _She _did it for the both of them. _She set them free_.

Freedom is an interesting thing. Everyone wants it…needs it…fights for it. But when it's handed to you on a silver platter, it somehow becomes less desirable. Arizona had been craving the freedom she used to have. However, in this moment, it didn't seem so appealing. Maybe because it felt forced upon her. Maybe because she didn't have the courage to take it for herself. Maybe because having freedom now meant _not having _the love of her life.

Calliope Torres would always be that for her. She would always be the love of Arizona's life, whether they found one another again or not. No one could ever compare. No one would even come close.

Suddenly, the blonde felt a smile form on her face. So many people never even get a chance to experience the kind of love she and Callie shared. So many people never find _the one. _They search their whole lives for that indescribable, magical feeling. Arizona had found that. She loved Callie with every fiber of her being, just as Callie loved her. No one could ever say they didn't try. Hell…maybe they were _still_ trying. Maybe that's why Callie had done this. Maybe she hadn't given up on them after all.

Arizona wondered when Callie had known. When had she decided they should stay apart? Did she know right away? _No, that didn't make sense. _Callie was distraught. She couldn't stand them not being together. Maybe it was when she started coming home drunk…or just didn't come home at all. Supposedly, she was out- working with Meredith Grey on some breakthrough surgery. _Was that even true_? What if her jealousy instincts were right and Callie had cheated? No. _She_ was the cheater_. She_ was the one who pushed Callie away.

She didn't push Callie away last night, though. She couldn't. She couldn't stand it any longer. She tried. She had tried so hard, for twenty-nine days, to avoid the woman she loved. No talking. No touching. No feeding the addiction.

To her, Callie was a drug. Something she wanted…needed…desperately depended on. _Callie made Arizona feel alive. _

Last night, the blonde felt more alive than she had in weeks. It was as if they had been reborn. There's no way the woman whose bare body melted with her own, light and dark skin drenched in love, had know what would happen in therapy the next evening. She couldn't have known. _None of this made sense_.

The tears were beginning to form in Arizona's beautiful, blue eyes once more. She took a deep breath and just stopped thinking for a moment. Why was she trying to make sense of it all? Life doesn't make sense. _Love_ doesn't make sense.

Maybe it didn't have to make sense right now. Maybe it was supposed to be confusing, and painful, and nauseating. After all, the ride they were on had them so dizzy that getting off would prove to be a difficult feat in itself. They would each have to be steadied, independently of one another, in order to be able to walk again.

_Thirty days wasn't enough_. They needed more time to plant their feet on the ground…more time regain control of their bodies and minds…more time to discover life beyond the carousel. That's why Calliope did it. That's why she broke both of their hearts. _She did it to save them. _

"Mama…"

Sofia's sweet, tired voice filled the empty silence in the air. Arizona shook her head vigorously, trying to stop the world from spinning so she could step off the ride and into her new life. She put one foot on the ground, then the other, finally letting go.

"I'm here, sweetheart," she called to her daughter as she wiped away one last tear.

Time for the soldier to march on…keep on fighting…win the battle that threatened to claim her life is she wasn't careful. But she wasn't in this battle alone. Callie was there, fighting right along with her. _They could still make it_. That's what Arizona had to tell herself in order to keep going. She had to keep going. _This was not going to break her_.

As she walked toward Sofia's room, the blonde felt the gift of freedom Callie had so generously given her take over. It wasn't going to be easy to fly at first, but she had to spread her wings. She had to continue her fellowship without emotional distractions. She had to become a better doctor…a better person…a better wife. _She had to find herself again._ She needed that. She needed to soar. And then, without obligation- without guilt, and fear, and dependency…she could make her way back home to the nest. And hopefully, Calliope would fly back there to meet her.


End file.
